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a loyalty of cranes

these are the days that must happen to you. - walt whitman

we're all self-obsessed to some extent, so here goes;
i am not afraid to leave narnia. i am not. i like books
better than most people. im still really good at climb-
ing trees, and do it often. ive got really messy hair
but i stopped caring years ago. i love my family. did
you hear me? fiercely. i like people who tell me when
im wrong: i like tripping because it makes me pay
attention and i think a day is wasted if you dont end
up with grass stains or skinned knees. i get made fun
of for being barefoot and listening to too much bob
dylan. i am always so anxious &shaky for truth.
i dont believe in god or forgiveness or that anybody
feels the way i do about you now. i know when i am full,
&i consider this an advantage over most people. i re-
peat myself, and i forget things, and im always told
i talk too much and too fast and everyone is constantly
telling me to breathe and slow down and i refuse to.
i can't go more than three days without working out.
i like being told what to do/ i hate being told what
to do. i want to be at least as alive as the vulgar.
i dont pretend that my weaknesses are attractive; i
just know theyre present, and forgiveable. i frequent
lost causes, &i know this. i love the outdoors and
hate television. i like people who like themselves.
i like myself, and i realize that the sky isn't
falling in. do you? do you?

lets be honest, we always say more than we
need to anyways, and i don't believe in conclusions.
&bite me like that, , 50 ways toleave your-lover, [sometimes youjustknow], abandoning yr sexuality, achtung-baby!, albedo, avians vs mammals, being rabid, being-dishevelled, bluebird of happiness, both/ways, boys like shipwrecks, boys with jazz-piano-playing fingers, buti dontthink iexist, climbing chain-link fences, colors!_&forcingthemonyou, disappearing under the water, disastrous-surrender, drinking salt_water, driving for driving alone, drowning like ophelia, dying for pianos, everything-existential, f#- major, ferocious kisses, forts of blankets, girls that buck&bite, hearts +bones, heavens-a-lie, insaneamounts ofgorgeous, ithinkyoumakemetoohappytobreath.osillyboy!, kisses &bruises, kissing thecurve, love like fireworks!, love_dogs, maze-like-used-bookstores, mr jones+ mr dylan, musicthat givesyougoosebumps, mybody_isagrenade, never leaving narnia, non-linear-story-lines, nosissy stuff-in my-coffee, o.b.o, prominent bone[s], sand gritting between teeth, sapio/sexuality, scandalous love affairs!, scribbling in paper journals, sirenssinging metoshipwreck, smashing my tv, so-you-think-you-can-tell?, swimming from alcatraz, sylvia sylvia sylvia sylvia, syn/esthesia, taboo-of-the-old-life, takemybreatheaway...!, taking morals like aspirin, tap water, tattooing is art, the correct pronunciation, the road &the peregrine, the sybil at cumae, the-goddamn-experience, the-love-song-of-alfred-j-prufrock, thesky isfalling in, those matters of consequence, throw me around, to the desert, tryingto throwmyarms aroundtheworld, uninteresting events, until your lips bleed, waiting for god, wastingwords on lowercases&capitals, weclaw& bitelikeanimals, youmust changeyour life., ♪♪♪♪